I can recall when I was around 7 years old I was standing in the line of some random store in Villa Park Illinois, perusing the candy when I noticed an older man look at me with eyes of hatred. I stare back at him and out of the grit of his teeth came the words,"you little commie bastard". At the time I was only 7 so I didn't know what a commie was nor did I know what a bastard was, so I was like sure nice to meet you too, with my Koolaid smile. In high school I junior high I learned about the treacherous acts of Nazi Germany's Holocaust. And how one specific group of people were targeted and blamed for all of the problems of Germany. Subsequently, Jews were forced to wear arm bands with the Star of David to signify their religious position.
After Pearl Harbor in 1941, all Japanese in the United States were declared enemies of the state and were rounded up and put into concentration camps or (internment camps) which was the first US case of national racial profiling. Yes, Asians were racially profiled and thrown into camps in the early part of the last century.
Fast forward to 2009, the new millennium, post Y2K and 9/11.
We are at a very interesting and potentially dangerous tipping point in the world. North Korea, one of the deemed Axis of Evil partners, has lit up it's nuclear reactors like a heroine addict coming out of rehab (insert Amy Winehouse theme here). All pistons are go. And when it comes to the world's view and disapproval they are acting like a child who doesn't want to go to school.
So why is this showing up on a blog about Identity? Have I become a CNN partner or competitor? No! Do I want to be the next Bloomberg? No!
I'm concerned that if North Korea continues it's crazy ways we will be thrown into another period of racial profiling against Asians, and more importantly to my own selfish desire to stay sane, Korean Americans who are descendants of South Korea.
We of the Asian Diaspora have all experienced, one time or another, being misunderstood and prejudged. In fact, so has most of the oxygen breathing civilians of this country we call America. But if North Korean tensions continue to rise. South Korean Americans will run into some pretty strange situations here are some of them.
1. Every time you meet someone new and they ask where you are from the first thing anyone will ask is "are you North or South Korean" If you say South, they will say Oh thank GOD!
2. The racial slur commie bastard will make it's comeback!
3. The joke about Korean's eating dog's will be usurped by the new joke, "what are you going to do Nuke me?
4. When people mistake us for Chinese we'll say thanks! Cause at least they didn't mistake us for being North Korean!
I joke now, but in all seriousness I do fear the day that If the crap hits the fan and there's actually a detonation of a weapon against humanity from North Korea. All of our hard work trying to create a positive image of Korean Males in television and film will have been in vein. I'm an optimist but I also have seen the worst in humanity. With that said, it's my sole opinion, that if there was an attack of some sort, America will be thrown back into the draconian days of internment camps, and Asian American's will become the enemy of the state (because people can't tell us apart) the scary thing is that the government, being the progressive beast that it is, will not institue camps. Because of the very civil rights principles that we have grown to know and love.
But again it's my opinion only, that the camps would have to be set up for the saftey of the people, and to thwart violence and hate crimes similar to the LA riots.
Sorry to be so negative and so hard on the human spirit. But events like this scare me and create an overwhelming feeling of insecurity in the progress we have made concerning race - especially in places far away from New York City.
Signing off!
Venti Soy Chai Latte
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
The Bizzy Dad
5 days ago I had another monumental event take place in my life. I was awarded full custody of my children after a year long vicious custody battle littered with vindictive, irrational, and at times outright blatant immature behavior. If you have never heard of the psychological condition called narcissistic injury, get acquainted with it. It explains a great deal about human behavior post divorce or custody judgements. Narcissistic Injury turns into Narcissistic Rage.
Definitions:
How does this play into identity?
I have transitioned in and out of about 5 different identities in the past 3 years. 1. I was married and walked the walk of the married man. I was a full time dad, I took on the role of a private catholic high school teacher, I became a Korean American Leader in the USA as a memeber of NETKAL (netkal.org) and became a Korean American Leader on a global scale as a member of Overseas Korean Foundation's 11 leadershp Class (http://www.okf.or.kr/eng/index.html) I was a home owner, now I rent, I was president and Ceo of my company, now I'm a partner and creative director. I was a victim of police brutality, now I'm a recipient of a settlement from the city of New York City. On may 20th 2009, I became a single parent of full legal and physical custody of my two children which is going to take some time to get used to again. I'll miss many networing events and great opportunities to make new contacts but I'll have control over what my kids start to get excited about through educational enrichment and development of skills and talents which remain untapped.
I remember at one time I refered to myself as the Korean, Italian, African American Jew. reason being was I was born in Korea, Raised by italians, Married an African American woman and performed at 5 jewish bar mitzvahs a weekend in the north shore area of Chicago.
I know one thing is true about me, trying to focus on just being one of those many things/identities/personalities, that I was in this turbulant time in my life was and is very difficult. But I do feel that in my mid 30's I've achieved a certail level of understanding about those faces that I put on in different circles. But more than ever I'm just trying to be me.
Tonight, my daughter and my son were coming to grips with the fact that they will not see mommy very much. My son is very upset about it. In order to ensure that my son's transition out of the staus quo of 50/50 split custody is smooth I'm instituting an open door policy for my children. The policy is - if in the AM i.e. (before we go to school) ether or both of the kids want to see Mommy that day I'll arrange for mommy to pick them up after school and they can stay with her until 7:30 pm. Logicalical and reasonable. (this is where faith comes in) because the children's mommy would never consider such a thing.
As I think about it even deeper i am reminded that my two beautiful children are my only known blood relatives that I have a relationshop with and I almost lost them into an abyss of baggage-infused teachings of alienation and resentment for their father, creatiing a gap and a rift inan otherwise functional father son.daughter relationship.
So right now the identity hat that I'm wearing is that of the single dad of 2 again with legal and physical custodial responsibilities.
Wish me luck, I'll keep you posted as life happends.
Also, I'll be shooting a series of video blogs called the Bizzy Dad! Subscribe to my you tube page and you'll get first look at what the Bizzy Dad is up to.
The Bizzy Dad!
AKA Venti soy tazo chai
Definitions:
Narcissistic injury: a threat to a narcissist’s self-esteem or worth.
Narcissistic rage: a reaction to narcissistic injury (when the narcissist feels degraded by another person). When the narcissist's grandiose sense of self worth is perceivably being attacked by another person, the narcissist's natural reaction is to rage and pull-down the self worth of others (to make the narcissist feel superior to others). It is an attempt by the narcissist to soothe their internal pain and hostility, while at the same time rebuilding their self worth. Narcissistic rage should not be confused with anger (although the two are similar), and is not necessarily caused by a situation that would typically provoke anger in an individual.[2] Narcissistic rage also occurs when the narcissist is perceivably being prevented from accomplishing their grandiose fantasies.[3]
How does this play into identity?
I have transitioned in and out of about 5 different identities in the past 3 years. 1. I was married and walked the walk of the married man. I was a full time dad, I took on the role of a private catholic high school teacher, I became a Korean American Leader in the USA as a memeber of NETKAL (netkal.org) and became a Korean American Leader on a global scale as a member of Overseas Korean Foundation's 11 leadershp Class (http://www.okf.or.kr/eng/index.html) I was a home owner, now I rent, I was president and Ceo of my company, now I'm a partner and creative director. I was a victim of police brutality, now I'm a recipient of a settlement from the city of New York City. On may 20th 2009, I became a single parent of full legal and physical custody of my two children which is going to take some time to get used to again. I'll miss many networing events and great opportunities to make new contacts but I'll have control over what my kids start to get excited about through educational enrichment and development of skills and talents which remain untapped.
I remember at one time I refered to myself as the Korean, Italian, African American Jew. reason being was I was born in Korea, Raised by italians, Married an African American woman and performed at 5 jewish bar mitzvahs a weekend in the north shore area of Chicago.
I know one thing is true about me, trying to focus on just being one of those many things/identities/personalities, that I was in this turbulant time in my life was and is very difficult. But I do feel that in my mid 30's I've achieved a certail level of understanding about those faces that I put on in different circles. But more than ever I'm just trying to be me.
Tonight, my daughter and my son were coming to grips with the fact that they will not see mommy very much. My son is very upset about it. In order to ensure that my son's transition out of the staus quo of 50/50 split custody is smooth I'm instituting an open door policy for my children. The policy is - if in the AM i.e. (before we go to school) ether or both of the kids want to see Mommy that day I'll arrange for mommy to pick them up after school and they can stay with her until 7:30 pm. Logicalical and reasonable. (this is where faith comes in) because the children's mommy would never consider such a thing.
As I think about it even deeper i am reminded that my two beautiful children are my only known blood relatives that I have a relationshop with and I almost lost them into an abyss of baggage-infused teachings of alienation and resentment for their father, creatiing a gap and a rift inan otherwise functional father son.daughter relationship.
So right now the identity hat that I'm wearing is that of the single dad of 2 again with legal and physical custodial responsibilities.
Wish me luck, I'll keep you posted as life happends.
Also, I'll be shooting a series of video blogs called the Bizzy Dad! Subscribe to my you tube page and you'll get first look at what the Bizzy Dad is up to.
The Bizzy Dad!
AKA Venti soy tazo chai
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