A year ago a Monarch butterfly met a catepillar. She was a beautiful, vibrant and young specimen, so full of possibilities, The fell in love. They did everything together ad were so happy together. But, during the year the butterfly watched the catepiller become sad and felt helpless and he watched her hang on to a feeding leaf by a thin line as the world seemingly was crashing around her. She remained on the leaf but was bruised and battered by the heavy downpour of life. She climbed back up on the leaf and remained in he center, uncertain which part of the leaf would be the best part for her, she was unsure which part would be the tastiest, most satisfying and most nourishing. She looked all around for answers, for guidance, she felt so alone. The butterfly kept his wings spread over her so that the rain would not penetrate her spirit while he was around. But at the end it was not the leaf and it's nourishment the catepillar was in search of. She needed to be free and grow. There was nothing for her on the leaf she was on. And even if there was something for her on that leaf, she was only a catepillar and really couldn't see it at that point.
So she decided, instead of tasting more of the leaf which she is on. She wanted to try a new leaf, for this new leaf will bring her the nourishment she needs to build her cocoon and turn into the butterfly she was born to be. Will the other butterfly still be on that old leaf? Or will that butterfly have moved onto an new leaf as well. Will the new beautiful butterfly search for the butterfly who provided her with love and support? Or will they loose each other in the abyss of the endless forest of roses and thorns and predators that break butterfly hearts.
There's the old saying, if you love something let it go. If it comes back its' yours forever. If it doesn't it was never yours to begin with. Is that true? Has that ever happened?
How many years will the Monarch wait? Will the caterpillar seek to reunite? In this romance I do hope that they both remain spiritually bonded. For once it's all said and done, Old butterflies realize that life's a climb and there's alway's going to be another mountain, to move, always going to be another battle, sometimes you're going to have to loose, aint about how fast you get there, aint about what's waiting on the other side, Now matter how you slice it, It's a climb. (inspired by miley sirus)
God Bless, the beautiful caterpillar who this monarch was antenna-over-wings or (head over heals)in love with. May the wind beneath your new found wings find you on a road that crosses the air space of your loving monarch.
Sweet metamorphasis.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
North Korea Missles and World war II identity Issues
I can recall when I was around 7 years old I was standing in the line of some random store in Villa Park Illinois, perusing the candy when I noticed an older man look at me with eyes of hatred. I stare back at him and out of the grit of his teeth came the words,"you little commie bastard". At the time I was only 7 so I didn't know what a commie was nor did I know what a bastard was, so I was like sure nice to meet you too, with my Koolaid smile. In high school I junior high I learned about the treacherous acts of Nazi Germany's Holocaust. And how one specific group of people were targeted and blamed for all of the problems of Germany. Subsequently, Jews were forced to wear arm bands with the Star of David to signify their religious position.
After Pearl Harbor in 1941, all Japanese in the United States were declared enemies of the state and were rounded up and put into concentration camps or (internment camps) which was the first US case of national racial profiling. Yes, Asians were racially profiled and thrown into camps in the early part of the last century.
Fast forward to 2009, the new millennium, post Y2K and 9/11.
We are at a very interesting and potentially dangerous tipping point in the world. North Korea, one of the deemed Axis of Evil partners, has lit up it's nuclear reactors like a heroine addict coming out of rehab (insert Amy Winehouse theme here). All pistons are go. And when it comes to the world's view and disapproval they are acting like a child who doesn't want to go to school.
So why is this showing up on a blog about Identity? Have I become a CNN partner or competitor? No! Do I want to be the next Bloomberg? No!
I'm concerned that if North Korea continues it's crazy ways we will be thrown into another period of racial profiling against Asians, and more importantly to my own selfish desire to stay sane, Korean Americans who are descendants of South Korea.
We of the Asian Diaspora have all experienced, one time or another, being misunderstood and prejudged. In fact, so has most of the oxygen breathing civilians of this country we call America. But if North Korean tensions continue to rise. South Korean Americans will run into some pretty strange situations here are some of them.
1. Every time you meet someone new and they ask where you are from the first thing anyone will ask is "are you North or South Korean" If you say South, they will say Oh thank GOD!
2. The racial slur commie bastard will make it's comeback!
3. The joke about Korean's eating dog's will be usurped by the new joke, "what are you going to do Nuke me?
4. When people mistake us for Chinese we'll say thanks! Cause at least they didn't mistake us for being North Korean!
I joke now, but in all seriousness I do fear the day that If the crap hits the fan and there's actually a detonation of a weapon against humanity from North Korea. All of our hard work trying to create a positive image of Korean Males in television and film will have been in vein. I'm an optimist but I also have seen the worst in humanity. With that said, it's my sole opinion, that if there was an attack of some sort, America will be thrown back into the draconian days of internment camps, and Asian American's will become the enemy of the state (because people can't tell us apart) the scary thing is that the government, being the progressive beast that it is, will not institue camps. Because of the very civil rights principles that we have grown to know and love.
But again it's my opinion only, that the camps would have to be set up for the saftey of the people, and to thwart violence and hate crimes similar to the LA riots.
Sorry to be so negative and so hard on the human spirit. But events like this scare me and create an overwhelming feeling of insecurity in the progress we have made concerning race - especially in places far away from New York City.
Signing off!
Venti Soy Chai Latte
After Pearl Harbor in 1941, all Japanese in the United States were declared enemies of the state and were rounded up and put into concentration camps or (internment camps) which was the first US case of national racial profiling. Yes, Asians were racially profiled and thrown into camps in the early part of the last century.
Fast forward to 2009, the new millennium, post Y2K and 9/11.
We are at a very interesting and potentially dangerous tipping point in the world. North Korea, one of the deemed Axis of Evil partners, has lit up it's nuclear reactors like a heroine addict coming out of rehab (insert Amy Winehouse theme here). All pistons are go. And when it comes to the world's view and disapproval they are acting like a child who doesn't want to go to school.
So why is this showing up on a blog about Identity? Have I become a CNN partner or competitor? No! Do I want to be the next Bloomberg? No!
I'm concerned that if North Korea continues it's crazy ways we will be thrown into another period of racial profiling against Asians, and more importantly to my own selfish desire to stay sane, Korean Americans who are descendants of South Korea.
We of the Asian Diaspora have all experienced, one time or another, being misunderstood and prejudged. In fact, so has most of the oxygen breathing civilians of this country we call America. But if North Korean tensions continue to rise. South Korean Americans will run into some pretty strange situations here are some of them.
1. Every time you meet someone new and they ask where you are from the first thing anyone will ask is "are you North or South Korean" If you say South, they will say Oh thank GOD!
2. The racial slur commie bastard will make it's comeback!
3. The joke about Korean's eating dog's will be usurped by the new joke, "what are you going to do Nuke me?
4. When people mistake us for Chinese we'll say thanks! Cause at least they didn't mistake us for being North Korean!
I joke now, but in all seriousness I do fear the day that If the crap hits the fan and there's actually a detonation of a weapon against humanity from North Korea. All of our hard work trying to create a positive image of Korean Males in television and film will have been in vein. I'm an optimist but I also have seen the worst in humanity. With that said, it's my sole opinion, that if there was an attack of some sort, America will be thrown back into the draconian days of internment camps, and Asian American's will become the enemy of the state (because people can't tell us apart) the scary thing is that the government, being the progressive beast that it is, will not institue camps. Because of the very civil rights principles that we have grown to know and love.
But again it's my opinion only, that the camps would have to be set up for the saftey of the people, and to thwart violence and hate crimes similar to the LA riots.
Sorry to be so negative and so hard on the human spirit. But events like this scare me and create an overwhelming feeling of insecurity in the progress we have made concerning race - especially in places far away from New York City.
Signing off!
Venti Soy Chai Latte
Monday, May 25, 2009
The Bizzy Dad
5 days ago I had another monumental event take place in my life. I was awarded full custody of my children after a year long vicious custody battle littered with vindictive, irrational, and at times outright blatant immature behavior. If you have never heard of the psychological condition called narcissistic injury, get acquainted with it. It explains a great deal about human behavior post divorce or custody judgements. Narcissistic Injury turns into Narcissistic Rage.
Definitions:
How does this play into identity?
I have transitioned in and out of about 5 different identities in the past 3 years. 1. I was married and walked the walk of the married man. I was a full time dad, I took on the role of a private catholic high school teacher, I became a Korean American Leader in the USA as a memeber of NETKAL (netkal.org) and became a Korean American Leader on a global scale as a member of Overseas Korean Foundation's 11 leadershp Class (http://www.okf.or.kr/eng/index.html) I was a home owner, now I rent, I was president and Ceo of my company, now I'm a partner and creative director. I was a victim of police brutality, now I'm a recipient of a settlement from the city of New York City. On may 20th 2009, I became a single parent of full legal and physical custody of my two children which is going to take some time to get used to again. I'll miss many networing events and great opportunities to make new contacts but I'll have control over what my kids start to get excited about through educational enrichment and development of skills and talents which remain untapped.
I remember at one time I refered to myself as the Korean, Italian, African American Jew. reason being was I was born in Korea, Raised by italians, Married an African American woman and performed at 5 jewish bar mitzvahs a weekend in the north shore area of Chicago.
I know one thing is true about me, trying to focus on just being one of those many things/identities/personalities, that I was in this turbulant time in my life was and is very difficult. But I do feel that in my mid 30's I've achieved a certail level of understanding about those faces that I put on in different circles. But more than ever I'm just trying to be me.
Tonight, my daughter and my son were coming to grips with the fact that they will not see mommy very much. My son is very upset about it. In order to ensure that my son's transition out of the staus quo of 50/50 split custody is smooth I'm instituting an open door policy for my children. The policy is - if in the AM i.e. (before we go to school) ether or both of the kids want to see Mommy that day I'll arrange for mommy to pick them up after school and they can stay with her until 7:30 pm. Logicalical and reasonable. (this is where faith comes in) because the children's mommy would never consider such a thing.
As I think about it even deeper i am reminded that my two beautiful children are my only known blood relatives that I have a relationshop with and I almost lost them into an abyss of baggage-infused teachings of alienation and resentment for their father, creatiing a gap and a rift inan otherwise functional father son.daughter relationship.
So right now the identity hat that I'm wearing is that of the single dad of 2 again with legal and physical custodial responsibilities.
Wish me luck, I'll keep you posted as life happends.
Also, I'll be shooting a series of video blogs called the Bizzy Dad! Subscribe to my you tube page and you'll get first look at what the Bizzy Dad is up to.
The Bizzy Dad!
AKA Venti soy tazo chai
Definitions:
Narcissistic injury: a threat to a narcissist’s self-esteem or worth.
Narcissistic rage: a reaction to narcissistic injury (when the narcissist feels degraded by another person). When the narcissist's grandiose sense of self worth is perceivably being attacked by another person, the narcissist's natural reaction is to rage and pull-down the self worth of others (to make the narcissist feel superior to others). It is an attempt by the narcissist to soothe their internal pain and hostility, while at the same time rebuilding their self worth. Narcissistic rage should not be confused with anger (although the two are similar), and is not necessarily caused by a situation that would typically provoke anger in an individual.[2] Narcissistic rage also occurs when the narcissist is perceivably being prevented from accomplishing their grandiose fantasies.[3]
How does this play into identity?
I have transitioned in and out of about 5 different identities in the past 3 years. 1. I was married and walked the walk of the married man. I was a full time dad, I took on the role of a private catholic high school teacher, I became a Korean American Leader in the USA as a memeber of NETKAL (netkal.org) and became a Korean American Leader on a global scale as a member of Overseas Korean Foundation's 11 leadershp Class (http://www.okf.or.kr/eng/index.html) I was a home owner, now I rent, I was president and Ceo of my company, now I'm a partner and creative director. I was a victim of police brutality, now I'm a recipient of a settlement from the city of New York City. On may 20th 2009, I became a single parent of full legal and physical custody of my two children which is going to take some time to get used to again. I'll miss many networing events and great opportunities to make new contacts but I'll have control over what my kids start to get excited about through educational enrichment and development of skills and talents which remain untapped.
I remember at one time I refered to myself as the Korean, Italian, African American Jew. reason being was I was born in Korea, Raised by italians, Married an African American woman and performed at 5 jewish bar mitzvahs a weekend in the north shore area of Chicago.
I know one thing is true about me, trying to focus on just being one of those many things/identities/personalities, that I was in this turbulant time in my life was and is very difficult. But I do feel that in my mid 30's I've achieved a certail level of understanding about those faces that I put on in different circles. But more than ever I'm just trying to be me.
Tonight, my daughter and my son were coming to grips with the fact that they will not see mommy very much. My son is very upset about it. In order to ensure that my son's transition out of the staus quo of 50/50 split custody is smooth I'm instituting an open door policy for my children. The policy is - if in the AM i.e. (before we go to school) ether or both of the kids want to see Mommy that day I'll arrange for mommy to pick them up after school and they can stay with her until 7:30 pm. Logicalical and reasonable. (this is where faith comes in) because the children's mommy would never consider such a thing.
As I think about it even deeper i am reminded that my two beautiful children are my only known blood relatives that I have a relationshop with and I almost lost them into an abyss of baggage-infused teachings of alienation and resentment for their father, creatiing a gap and a rift inan otherwise functional father son.daughter relationship.
So right now the identity hat that I'm wearing is that of the single dad of 2 again with legal and physical custodial responsibilities.
Wish me luck, I'll keep you posted as life happends.
Also, I'll be shooting a series of video blogs called the Bizzy Dad! Subscribe to my you tube page and you'll get first look at what the Bizzy Dad is up to.
The Bizzy Dad!
AKA Venti soy tazo chai
Friday, February 6, 2009
The President and his Identitea
Barack Obama is the 44Th President of the United States.
What I find truly amazing is how the public has found their new messiah, which leads to the next big biblical question, was Jesus black, and is Barack Obama the Lord cometh? I mean if you think about the region of the world that Jesus was from and the climate etc. It does makes sense that he would have at least looked a little like a middle eastern man. If Hindu's believe in reincarnation, and the Catholics believe in Jesus rising from the dead. Then could it be that both happened, and somehow it happened August 4Th 1961 in Hawaii?
The correlation that I find amazing between Barack Obama and Jesus is how Jesus was criticized for walking with those who have sinned the most, the prostitutes, the criminals, the sick, the wicked, the common folks, he was the man who gave the common people hope etc. Jesus gave them HOPE for miracles of healing, prosperity, that they would be forgiven their sins and gain eternal life through him. Hope is the Obama campaign slogan.
The pitfalls of today's society have been caused by the fact that we have kicked the basic rules of life out of our lives. In corporate America the 7 deadly sins are running amok, greed has taken over our banking system, sloth our welfare system, narcissism - our television and media outlets, envy - our suburban neighborhoods, gluttony - our energy consumption, wrath - our military, pride - our government.
On inauguration day, I saw grown men and women of all walks of life crying, sobbing not only about the fact that people of color have overcome a historically oppressive society in America, but also because, what Barack Obama symbolizes is much greater than the office of the president of the most powerful nation on the planet.
He is Hope, his heritage and perspective on race transcends all of the labels that the media tries to place on him. He's sat at dinner tables and in family rooms where racial overtones are less than cordial. He's seen what most mixed people have seen, bitterness in homogeneous communities that have been stricken by socioeconomic inequalities, and systematic oppression. In most circles he's not white enough, and in others he's not black enough. He's walked a difficult path of the mixed race psychosis.
He's forced to look at the fighting parties as the mediator, for his battles are outside of the man of pure racial gene pools. His sympathetic demeanor is that which a true leader of compassion would make decisions based on whats good for all men and women. Not just "his" people.
His Power lives in his mixed heritage, for no other leader could cross platform like he can. And I honor him for his achievements.
I also honor him for what he has achieved for my son. My son of mixed blood. He's the hero I can point my son to when he's seeking someone to emulate as he begins his own identity search. My son will never look like me, and my daughter will never look like her mother. But what they embody is the best of 3 worlds, three cultures that they can draw strength from, knowledge from, and can help them formulate their very unique Identities.
If I could teach my children one thing about identity, it would be... Do not try to find your identity, but create one that others will want to embody, for a mixed child is a Genesis for the new world order.
Love Dad.
This is Venti-Soy Tazo-Chai
Signing off
What I find truly amazing is how the public has found their new messiah, which leads to the next big biblical question, was Jesus black, and is Barack Obama the Lord cometh? I mean if you think about the region of the world that Jesus was from and the climate etc. It does makes sense that he would have at least looked a little like a middle eastern man. If Hindu's believe in reincarnation, and the Catholics believe in Jesus rising from the dead. Then could it be that both happened, and somehow it happened August 4Th 1961 in Hawaii?
The correlation that I find amazing between Barack Obama and Jesus is how Jesus was criticized for walking with those who have sinned the most, the prostitutes, the criminals, the sick, the wicked, the common folks, he was the man who gave the common people hope etc. Jesus gave them HOPE for miracles of healing, prosperity, that they would be forgiven their sins and gain eternal life through him. Hope is the Obama campaign slogan.
The pitfalls of today's society have been caused by the fact that we have kicked the basic rules of life out of our lives. In corporate America the 7 deadly sins are running amok, greed has taken over our banking system, sloth our welfare system, narcissism - our television and media outlets, envy - our suburban neighborhoods, gluttony - our energy consumption, wrath - our military, pride - our government.
On inauguration day, I saw grown men and women of all walks of life crying, sobbing not only about the fact that people of color have overcome a historically oppressive society in America, but also because, what Barack Obama symbolizes is much greater than the office of the president of the most powerful nation on the planet.
He is Hope, his heritage and perspective on race transcends all of the labels that the media tries to place on him. He's sat at dinner tables and in family rooms where racial overtones are less than cordial. He's seen what most mixed people have seen, bitterness in homogeneous communities that have been stricken by socioeconomic inequalities, and systematic oppression. In most circles he's not white enough, and in others he's not black enough. He's walked a difficult path of the mixed race psychosis.
He's forced to look at the fighting parties as the mediator, for his battles are outside of the man of pure racial gene pools. His sympathetic demeanor is that which a true leader of compassion would make decisions based on whats good for all men and women. Not just "his" people.
His Power lives in his mixed heritage, for no other leader could cross platform like he can. And I honor him for his achievements.
I also honor him for what he has achieved for my son. My son of mixed blood. He's the hero I can point my son to when he's seeking someone to emulate as he begins his own identity search. My son will never look like me, and my daughter will never look like her mother. But what they embody is the best of 3 worlds, three cultures that they can draw strength from, knowledge from, and can help them formulate their very unique Identities.
If I could teach my children one thing about identity, it would be... Do not try to find your identity, but create one that others will want to embody, for a mixed child is a Genesis for the new world order.
Love Dad.
This is Venti-Soy Tazo-Chai
Signing off
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Mixed and Adopted Personalities
Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.
-Elmer G Letterman.
I wanted to start out this entry with this quote because I think this is one common strand that many Adopted/Mixed people have in common, strong personalities. Or at least strong enough to make a good impression.
In the business world and in the social world, people who have an outer shell that is different than the status quo of their surroundings often have strong and outgoing personalities. We can enter any room and just, fit in. No matter what we can find that common ground, that soft footed plane where we can get along and go with the flow.
Some say that it's a gift, some say it's a curse I'd have to agree with both.
In many cases as an adoptee I have found myself to be most successful in the most uncomfortable of surroundings. Have you ever been that one sheep in a pack of wolves? This is what it is like. We walk into a room where nobody looks like us, and although we know everyone is staring; instead of running out, we find ourselves charming the fur off the wolves.
I believe that this started in elementary school when kids started to make fun of us on the playground. Pointing out our differences, laughing, or trying to bully us with verbally abusive language and racial slurs. At first our initial inclination is to put up our dukes and fight. But then we realize that we are greatly outnumbered and would be mopped up by the rest of the kids of the fight was a racial fight. So we swallowed our pain and our hurt and went about our day. Now the easy thing to do would be to just walk the other way. But I believe that it is that same moment where we begin to make the choice to have a breakthrough , and we decide going to show these ignorant kids that we're more then just the color of our skin, the slant of our eyes and the nappiness of our hair. We're going to prove to them that we are worthy of their friendship.
So we do. We prove our loyalty, love and give our friendship to these little shits who's parents have taught them to hate, ridicule, and form racist views about us and our people. We do this in order to find protection, forge alliances, and to just be loved and accepted.
And it works, we do end up finding and making many friends and, depending on how good we are at our new found skill, we may end up making everyone our friend so we have no enemies and we become the most likable person in the school. We have succeeded! We are now accepted as more then just our skin, hair and eyes!
So this is elementary school.
Then comes junior high - we are pretty much hanging out with the same kids from elementary and they are our friends, they see us as people, FINALLY. But then there's a couple of idiots from across the town who we never met. They make some stupid ignorant statements about us, and we fear that the process will begin anew, but we have friends now and they take care of them after school with us (3:00 pm on the playground). Of course it's natural for some of our friends in elementary to find other kids to go hang out with, and we may find at the end of the year, they are making fun of us and talking about us behind our backs. It happens, what can you do?
I feel that these are normal parts of the adolescent growth process. And for the most part when we grow in families that are homogeneous and all members of the family look alike, its much more comforting to come home and find sanctuary amongst all of your family members that share that same difference.
For adoptees who have parents who look visibly different this is a much more difficult transition to negotiate. Once the racial slurs, the nasty remarks, the N words, the Ching-Chong Charlie Chan moments of ignorance become more often and hurtful, we go home to try to talk about things to our parents and they simply cannot relate.
Most of the time our parents say things like, oh that doesn't sound like something someone would say, or just ignore them, or in my case (since I was adopted by italians) my mother would say then the to screw off because they're wrong...I'm Italian! Yes, that was my pitiful defense against racism.
This created my/our first feeling of isolation. And it's at this point where we have to make another decision. Do we engage in self destructive behavior, or do we once again prove to the ignorant crowd that we are more then what they say? In most cases I have found we once again took this opportunity to refine our skill and deepen our social acumen by letting our amazing personalities shine through.
Until next time...
This is
Venti - Soy Tazo Chai...Signing off.
The next entry will cover some experiences about adolescent adopted love.
• What is wrong with me?
• I don't get any attention.
• The decline of self worth and self image.
• Our first boyfriend/girlfriend's flavor. - White, Black, Asian, Hispanic?
-Elmer G Letterman.
I wanted to start out this entry with this quote because I think this is one common strand that many Adopted/Mixed people have in common, strong personalities. Or at least strong enough to make a good impression.
In the business world and in the social world, people who have an outer shell that is different than the status quo of their surroundings often have strong and outgoing personalities. We can enter any room and just, fit in. No matter what we can find that common ground, that soft footed plane where we can get along and go with the flow.
Some say that it's a gift, some say it's a curse I'd have to agree with both.
In many cases as an adoptee I have found myself to be most successful in the most uncomfortable of surroundings. Have you ever been that one sheep in a pack of wolves? This is what it is like. We walk into a room where nobody looks like us, and although we know everyone is staring; instead of running out, we find ourselves charming the fur off the wolves.
I believe that this started in elementary school when kids started to make fun of us on the playground. Pointing out our differences, laughing, or trying to bully us with verbally abusive language and racial slurs. At first our initial inclination is to put up our dukes and fight. But then we realize that we are greatly outnumbered and would be mopped up by the rest of the kids of the fight was a racial fight. So we swallowed our pain and our hurt and went about our day. Now the easy thing to do would be to just walk the other way. But I believe that it is that same moment where we begin to make the choice to have a breakthrough , and we decide going to show these ignorant kids that we're more then just the color of our skin, the slant of our eyes and the nappiness of our hair. We're going to prove to them that we are worthy of their friendship.
So we do. We prove our loyalty, love and give our friendship to these little shits who's parents have taught them to hate, ridicule, and form racist views about us and our people. We do this in order to find protection, forge alliances, and to just be loved and accepted.
And it works, we do end up finding and making many friends and, depending on how good we are at our new found skill, we may end up making everyone our friend so we have no enemies and we become the most likable person in the school. We have succeeded! We are now accepted as more then just our skin, hair and eyes!
So this is elementary school.
Then comes junior high - we are pretty much hanging out with the same kids from elementary and they are our friends, they see us as people, FINALLY. But then there's a couple of idiots from across the town who we never met. They make some stupid ignorant statements about us, and we fear that the process will begin anew, but we have friends now and they take care of them after school with us (3:00 pm on the playground). Of course it's natural for some of our friends in elementary to find other kids to go hang out with, and we may find at the end of the year, they are making fun of us and talking about us behind our backs. It happens, what can you do?
I feel that these are normal parts of the adolescent growth process. And for the most part when we grow in families that are homogeneous and all members of the family look alike, its much more comforting to come home and find sanctuary amongst all of your family members that share that same difference.
For adoptees who have parents who look visibly different this is a much more difficult transition to negotiate. Once the racial slurs, the nasty remarks, the N words, the Ching-Chong Charlie Chan moments of ignorance become more often and hurtful, we go home to try to talk about things to our parents and they simply cannot relate.
Most of the time our parents say things like, oh that doesn't sound like something someone would say, or just ignore them, or in my case (since I was adopted by italians) my mother would say then the to screw off because they're wrong...I'm Italian! Yes, that was my pitiful defense against racism.
This created my/our first feeling of isolation. And it's at this point where we have to make another decision. Do we engage in self destructive behavior, or do we once again prove to the ignorant crowd that we are more then what they say? In most cases I have found we once again took this opportunity to refine our skill and deepen our social acumen by letting our amazing personalities shine through.
Until next time...
This is
Venti - Soy Tazo Chai...Signing off.
The next entry will cover some experiences about adolescent adopted love.
• What is wrong with me?
• I don't get any attention.
• The decline of self worth and self image.
• Our first boyfriend/girlfriend's flavor. - White, Black, Asian, Hispanic?
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